What are some funny and smart quotes?

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Is Florida now unsurvivable because it's an oven due to climate change? It's 11:48 am on May 30th and the heat index in SoFla is 100. I can see it going up to over 130 by July.

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

Can the right person make a narc want to change their ways? Is love that powerful? Has anyone seen this or experience it?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

What explanations do flat earthers have for the shape of our planet? If they do not have any, why should their opinions on this topic be considered credible?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.